Some Degree of Normalcy
by Iresol
Summary: Black Hawk Down: Prior to the movie, a newly married Hoot goes home to visit family with Randy and Diana and realizes just how much he has changed. Diana's POV. Pre-movie Diana and Hoot fic #7.
1. Chapter 1

_Authors Note: Ok, so I grew bored with my other fic and deleted it. It was in a fit of creativity. After much drama and midterms in my life I have decided that I needed to expurge into my writing, since I can't afford a shrink. What's more therapeutic then writing? Anywho, this will be a Hoot fic, I had to return to the Universe of Hoot. Plus I just bought the 3-disc edition of "Black Hawk Down" and have been marveling at the extra features. So enjoy and review._

1.

Louisiana smelled funny.

I wasn't thinking it to be rude or obnoxious, but, it definitely smelled. It wasn't pleasant. It smelled like ass. Like a swamp, a paper factory, or something. It was weird. Plus, I had gone to sleep in South Carolina under the assumption that my new husband would stop when he got tired. I woke up to something that smelled just plain wrong and to someone who looked like they'd walked off the set of "Deliverance" tapping on my window.

Where the hell was my husband?

I looked around the truck and saw nothing but luggage and bare feet.

The man continued to knock. While I got my bearings. There was a map on the dashboard opened up to Louisiana and five empty bottles of Pepsi on the floor.

He'd pulled an all-nighter on me.

The knocking did not cease. Nor did the fact I was sitting up register with the man. Who had maybe three teeth in his mouth. Which for a normal woman probably would have freaked them out. Nope, not me. I opened the door of the truck where I had been so comfortably sleeping only to be assaulted with that smell and the 100 plus degree summer heat.

"What is your problem," I screeched, hoping my hair looked somewhat ok. I hopped down onto the dusty ground and landed in something sticky. But it was on my shoe so I didn't care.

Mr. Deliverance was speaking to me in English, I was almost positive of it, yet, I couldn't understand a word from his chapped lips. He seemed to be friendly which I took as a good sign. While he spoke to me I adjusted my shorts, made sure the girls were tucked into my shirt, and looked around. Hoot had stopped in the bayou.

He was a dead man.

The man had stopped speaking and was smiling. A good thing? Since my husband was MIA I told the man, with a smile, "Ok."

Hoping I had not promised to be his love-monkey for the afternoon.

The man looked at me funny and cocked his head.

Shit, had he been speaking English? I was pretty sure he had been. Then a little bell caught my attention. We both turned to look at the dilapidated structure that was the gas station, where my husband of two weeks was standing, looking impatient. "Baby, you hungry?"

Food.

The man spoke irritated to my husband and pointed to me. Oh how I wanted to break that finger off. But, with my luck he'd be the Sheriff of wherever we were.

My husband nodded, "She's like that. Y'know women."

Oh good God.

I pounded on the window of the truck to wake our stowaway up, and then I scurried across the dirt parking lot to my husband. Who stood in the doorway of a door less door and waited for me. Looking yummy as always in jeans and stubble. "Mornin," he smiled.

Irritated I smacked his chest and hissed, "I thought you were stopping sometime last night."

His girth took up the doorway, thus blocking the entrance. Probably intentionally. Just to irritate me. A smile curled onto his face, "I wasn't tired."

Of course he wasn't.

To further irritate me he reached out and ran his fingers through my hair. Being all-wonderful like always.

"What's that smell," I demanded of him.

He moved sideways and pointed behind him, through the shop. Which had food and Voodoo supplies, and a fishing area, dirt floors and a picturesque view of the swamp in the back. There was apparently no wall, just an open back deck. He kissed my temple, "You hungry?"

I had learned my lesson.

Hoot definition of food was considerably different then my definition of food.

"Hungry for what? What are you going to feed me? I'm not eating any animal by-products or anything I cannot identify."

With a snicker that was completely Hoot he took my hand and drew me into the gas station. Which smelled like ass. Past fishes and boar heads mounted on the warped wooden walls. Past shelves lined with ammunition and jars of chicken feet. I had thought our last discussion on acceptable places to take me had been effective: obviously not.

He led me to a counter with a cash register.

There was a woman three times my size wearing a moomoo at the register. Her nails were three inches long and painted fire engine red. She gave Hoot a smile that if I wasn't sure she could stab me and kill me with those nails, I would have given her a nasty look. Like Hoot, she had the Southern Accent down. She greeted him as if I wasn't even there, "Mornin sugar, you hungry?"

She obviously didn't see me attached to his side. Or him look down at me and inquire, "You like Fried Oreo Pie?"

That sounded edible.

"Is it fattening?"

He laughed and told Claws, "Two pieces of Fried Oreo Pie and some Gator Tail, an some hot sauce an a jug a sweet tea."

We were going to need Tums, I could see it now.

Feeling the need to stamp out my territory. Obviously the wedding band on his finger was not enough, I shoved my hand in his front pocket, gaining his complete attention in the process. I looked up into those amazing brown eyes, "Do we have Tums in the truck?"

He gave me a puzzled look.

"For Randy and me," I added.

Speaking of the devil, with the little bell sounding, Randy stumbled into the shop. T-shirt in hand, no shoes, and rubbing his near baldhead sleepily, "Hoot, I think something died in the truck."

Claws glanced up and admired the sleepy and just as muscled Randy, as he moseyed our way.

"The whole state smells like that," I told Randy.

Hoot goosed me, which made me jump and look upwards at him. "Does not," he argued. When Randy came to a stop behind us he told his friend, "I ordered you breakfast. Eugene put gas in the truck?"

So Eugene was Mr. Deliverance.

Randy's eyebrows narrowed, "The little man with no teeth?"

"Be nice, that's my cousin."

Oh dear God, I buried my face against Hoot's muscled shoulder and prayed our future children would be normal.


	2. Chapter 2

2.

For a while we drove along the road and only saw swamp, occasionally we'd pass trees or have to steer around an alligator, which was the sole purpose of Randy joining us on our little adventure to Hoot's family reunion. He wanted to hunt an alligator.

Apparently the two of them had some sort of exotic game killing competition going on.

Finally we began passing mansions.

And I mean mansions. It was like the old south was still alive, like we someone had used "Gone with the Wind" as the guide for the architecture.

Then the signs began to get weird. I couldn't pronounce anything on them. Which was what I got for not learning French. The one language I didn't know. Randy didn't speak French either, but that still didn't stop him from backseat driving. More then once he sang, "Hoot, I can't read the signs when you pass then at three times the legal speed limit."

To which Hoot would tell Randy, "You can't see the damn signs cause you layin on your back. I see you damn in my mirror."

"It's the principle," Randy would counter with.

And then Hoot would place his hand on my chest and check his mirrors before he slammed the brakes on, flinging Randy into the back of our seat.

This went on for about an hour, until Hoot turned onto a dirt road. Where he had to slow down to two times the legal speed limit. And he placed his hand on my chest. _To keep me in my seat_, he had told me. Though I had my seatbelt on so…I was pretty sure he was just feeling me up.

The bumps, rocks, and holes at sixty miles an hour made Randy buckle up, while swearing at Hoot and questioning his driving ability. He was probably mad because he couldn't clean his rifle while getting thrown around. Though Hoot snickering didn't help Randy's irritation.

The two of them were like pre-pubescent boys hyped up on Mountain Dew and Sweet-Tarts.

After a good twenty minutes on the dirt road, Hoot turned onto a smaller road and put the truck in four-wheel drive. He drove through a low swamp and mushy road. There were trees everywhere and the mush wouldn't let him do more the twenty miles an hour, thus allowing Randy to hang over the back of the seat, "Griz is going to chew you out. I hope you're planning to clean his truck."

Randy had a point.

The muck was all over and could be heard twapping against the vehicle.

Hoot flipped him off, completely concentrating on the road. Or, the vehicle sized path cut into the swamp. I could not see a road but that did not mean it wasn't there.

I turned to completely face my newly acquired husband. Mildly curious, "So, dear, will any of your other family members be here? Or just the three of us and your mother?"

His eyes never left the path ahead of us. Yet, he steered with one hand as he placed the other on my bare sweaty knee. Griz was really going to have to invest in an air conditioner for his truck.

"Albert an his lil ones are comin."

"Your brother," I asked and he nodded.

I just happened to glance out the window and notice a trailer, no, two trailers pushed up together…wait, it was three pushed up together with a wrap around deck come into view. A million redneck jokes came to mind. However, I paused and was glad I did. Randy leant further over the seat, "Your mother won forty million dollars in the lotto and she's still living in a triple wide?"

Hoot let out an annoyed breath and rolled his eyes, "I've tried tellin her to build'a cabin but the woman don't listen."

My ears could not believe it.

While I gaped at the three different colored trailers and the bug lamps that hung from the trees, "Hoot, baby, you never told me your mother won the lottery."

"She don't like to talk bout it."

Oh, well, silly me.

"So…did your mother spend any of her winnings?"

With an annoyed look Hoot drove over something big and spat, "Yeah. She caulked all the holes in the house from where the trailers were put together uneven-like. Then she bought a dryer an washer. An engine for her airboat. An the rest she has in mayonnaise jars round the property."

The property being three acres of swampland.

I could no longer contain myself, "Your mother has millions of dollars worth of lottery winnings in mayonnaise jars scattered throughout the damn swamp!?"  
Hoot looked at me as if I were the crazy one, "They're sunk with bricks."

I looked to Randy who nodded as if this were normal. Then back to Hoot. Who rubbed my knee and informed me, "Momma don't like banks. She was in a vault while it was bein robbed once."

Randy snickered and I sagged back against the cloth seat.

"Sides, the gators keep'em safe."

Oh yeah, silly me, the alligators kept the money safe.

I just watched out the window while Hoot navigated his way up to his home through the muck. He drove onto a rocky area, a manmade rocky area and then told me, "Quick go get on the porch when you get out, baby."

Annoyed, since I had hopped out and landed in muck, which then splattered up my bare legs and stained my shorts, I looked across the open cab as he grabbed bags from the back, "Why?"

As if it were a normal conversation he calmly told me. "Cause we're on flat ground an gators walk round here."

Gators walked around. Dear God. I ran through the wet and nasty muck and hopped my happy ass onto the wrap-around deck, which was a good three feet from the ground. Which I suddenly understood. From on the deck I wiped the muck from my legs and only succeeded in smearing it. I smelled my hand's which now stunk. Randy looked around and peeked under the truck, seemingly unconcerned.

"Watch out for snakes. They hang from the trees," Hoot so helpfully added.

Well I looked up and saw a whole canopy. There were trees everywhere and I was looking for snakes like my life depended on it.

I was really beginning to hate nature.

Being mucky and freaked out, I turned my attention to the boys who were gathering all the luggage. As if the thirteen feet between the deck and truck was far too much to make in one trip. They stacked duffle bag on rolling suitcase, on top of cosmetic bag and hanging clothes on one arm, plus whatever they brought. Loading up on all the bags as if it were some sort of competition to see who could give themselves a more severe hernia.

I rolled my eyes and watched them load up like camels.

"Baby, why don't you toss me some of the bags. I don't want you throwing your back out before the honeymoon."

Which earned me a smoldering look from Hoot, Randy declared, "Because we all know the two of you have been abstaining from fornication."

"Jealous," Hoot accused, kicking the driver door closed with his foot. While Randy studiously maneuvered through the thick and wet soil towards the deck. I grabbed his arm when he was close enough and helped him navigate his way up onto the deck. Not that he needed the help being Mr. Hercules and all.

"At your innate ability to charm the pants off women, not likely, Gibson."

I pouted at Randy, "Quit being mean to my husband." Who gave me one of his rare smiles and kissed the top of my head then he cruised around the deck, which wrapped around the triple-wide.

I looked to Hoot as he climbed up on the deck. "Are you boys going to behave? Or is this going to be the Battle of Testosterone all over again? Cause I'm not going to watch you boys argue over who can hold their breath longer again."

He gave me one of his smiles and patted my ass. "Baby, we're behavin, an you know I can hold my breath longer."


	3. Chapter 3

_Authors Note: Sorry for the slow updates, but school has been so crazy and I wanted to dedicate a good few hours to this chapter. Let me know what y'all think! Reviews are most welcomed. None of the "Black Hawk Down" guys belong to me. Everyone else does, and Jenn, girly, I have been inspired and put you in, are you happy now?_

3.

His mother wasn't home and she had locked the doors. Which was a good idea. But, between Hoot and Randy both we were in the house in a matter of seconds. The two of them argued for a good ten minutes over how to break in to his mothers house, until they settled on the front door, and a pick-up truck with tires that had to be three feet high. It was painted in a spiffy camouflage style and had huge turkey lights on the roof.

It had to be the redneck-mobile.

Randy looked to Hoot, who was trying very hard to figure out who was driving the tank when it stopped, the engine turned off, the door opened, and a girl around my age hopped out. She was maybe five feet tall and looked like the perfect image of realistic country living. Jeans, a plaid shirt and rubbed florescent orange rain boots. At the sight of Hoot she put her hands on her cheeks and screeched, "Oh my Jesus, Hoot! You're back!"

Her accent was thicker then his, and she had a wad of gum in her mouth. She ran through the muck and Hoot helped her onto the porch. She wrapped her arms around him. He towered over her and then she stepped back, stunned, "Oh my Gawd! You're huge! Damn child! What have you been doin Hoot?"

She was extremely animated as she chomped away, and then she spotted Randy and I, "Ok, whose these people?" But she didn't wait for Hoot to talk. She wrapped her arms around me and it was like being hugged by a midget.

"Jenn, this is my wife Diana and my friend Randy."

Her hands smacked on her cheeks again, "Oh my Lord! You got married! Does Momma G know?"

Apparently, Jenn had one tone. She grabbed my hand and looked at my wedding band. Chomping away she held her hand to her chest, "Oh that's beau-ti-full! Oh my Gawd." Then her attention fell on Randy, "And you are Randy? Oh, you are just the cutest thing on two feet!"

Ok, she either was on Speed, or really hyper and wound up. Her eyes weren't dilated and she didn't appear twitchy. She then threw her hands up and told Hoot, "Your momma is at the church. She sent me here to get her planner, she forgot it. You know she's head'a the choir."

Hoot opened the door and held it open for her, in she went, as if the house was her own. Randy pushed after her quite quickly. Almost knocking me onto the deck. I looked up at Hoot as I walked in, hissing, "What is wrong with her?"

From inside the trailer she was already on another subject. "So Randy what do you do?"

I listened carefully, needing to know what story we were going with.

"I'm a cook in the Army. Can I help you with anything Jenn?"

The inside of the trailer's amazed me.

I was never complaining about base housing ever again. The carpets were three different colors from the three different trailers being pushed together, which gave it an incredibly roomy look, the ceilings were uneven. The furniture was older then me and NASCAR was a main theme, along with dead animal heads.

When my vision adjusted I could see Randy checking Jenn out while she dug around the kitchen counter for the daily planner. "Can we help with anything," he inquired.

I rolled my eyes and looked to my husband. Who was tossing bags in the house with ease. Bags bigger around then me. When he caught sight of Randy hitting on his cousin the bags were forgotten.

Jenn turned to him and sweetly smiled, stepping closer to dear Randy, "Uh-huh. Momma G wanted some food shoppin done an…she asked to bring my brother to church for manly strength an all, but you'll do."

Well Randy just perked right up.

He turned to Hoot with a smile on his face, "I volunteer." Jenn beamed and Hoot looked about ready to kick Randy right in the ass. He stepped away from the bags, leaving them in the doorway to get the food list from Jenn, who had whipped that baby right out of her pocket. I hadn't seen anyone move that fast in years. She hooked her arm around Randy's and gave the list to Hoot, "I'll have'm back later. I send'im home with Momma G. You two make sure an get what Momma G wants on that there list."

The look Hoot shot Randy from over Jenn's head was scathing. Pure outrage and pissed-off-ness. He hissed something to Randy and I turned to the luggage. I could be productive. I walked on over to it and grabbed one of the duffel bags from the porch. Which weighed a ton. I tried to pick it up to lift it over the threshold. Nope. I couldn't get it off the ground.

What the hell had the boys packed.

I unzipped it and saw a good amount of technical toys, guns, and electronics. Stuff that belonged in a war zone. Had they raided the armory on our way off base?

I zipped it back up and waved as Jenn and Randy strolled out. Hoot followed and sent Randy a warning look from the doorway.

I looked up into his eyes, "Baby, I thought this was supposed to be a nice normal relaxing two weeks away."

"It is," he replied, still glaring.

"Then why are we armed enough to take on the Louisiana Militia?"

He gave me his attention and a confused look. I pointed to the bag, afraid to kick it and discharge a weapon inside the case.

"That's Randy's bag," he told me and then picked it up with one hand and tossed it effortlessly into the house, or trailers.

Well Randy must have gotten a different memo then me. Or he was as nutty as my husband. I rubbed the bridge of my nose and his hands fell on my shoulders, "Baby, we're behavin. We're on a break an are relaxin. Randy's just gonna hunt gator with all that."

I looked at him doubtfully. "And you came completely unarmed?"

He hesitated, which meant no.

"You know I'm naked without a gun."

Yeah, I knew that. Then he added, "I only brought handguns." Well only handguns. He was halfway to being a civilian. I blinked, "Well, then, lets just award you the Nobel Peace Prize."

He smirked and kissed me.

"When the breaks over, I may kill Randy fore then."


	4. Chapter 4

4.

"What the hell is fatback?"

Hoot inched right up behind me. Pinning me to the deli counter with his thighs, while he peered over my shoulder when we both knew he had heard me the first time.

I looked up into his eyes, "Do they sell it at the deli?" Or at the Piggly Wiggly, the only food store in town to begin with?

One of his hands snuck up my shirt from the back. While he pointed with the other, "Uh-huh. Over in the meat area. It's white."

What?

I blinked and made a face, "What is it?"

"Pig fat."

I narrowed my eyes and chewed on my bottom lip, "Pig fat?"

"Pork? You know, bacon an ham."

It took all I could not to roll my eyes and belt him. I took a deep breath and held his gaze while he smirked and kissed my neck. My ears and my cheek. Being just oh-so-helpful as the deli man finished and handed me a bag of cold cuts. Which I took and tossed over into the cart. I managed to pull out of Hoot's grip and pointed to the cart, "Make yourself useful and push. Use those muscles you're always working so hard on at the gym."

"It's all for you baby," he told me.

I did roll my eyes and headed in the direction he had pointed, while he pushed the loaded cart behind me. Occasionally bumping me in the butt with the cart. One of the reasons I usually went food shopping alone. Along with the fact he and my father had the habit of throwing food we didn't need in the cart.

I looked over the meat and could not find fatback.

Hoot stopped the cart, pinning me between the cart and cold counter, grabbed a white block of something and tossed it in. "Found it. What next?"

I made a face, shoved the cart and reached in. I looked over the contents and could not believe it. I was about to demand if his mother knew exactly what was in fatback.

But, someone's voice came first. "Norman Gibson?"

Hoot's eyes closed.

His lips formed a silent word, beginning with f and ending with k. He opened his eyes and turned with the biggest smile on his face that I had ever seen. This got my attention. I dropped the fatback in the cart and saw the voice's owner. A woman in her late forties, maybe fifties. Red poofy hair and a flowered sundress. She let go of her cart and hugged my husband. I watched her press herself into him and wrap her arms around, he quickly snagged them before they completed their journey south.

Hoot then backed away, or attempted to. He backed right into the meat counter and she followed him. Holding firmly onto his hands. I was torn between kicking her ass and amusement.

"Mrs. McGee, this woman here, Diana baby come here…now, this here is my wife. My wife who I love dearly."

I detected panic in his voice.

The woman looked to me actually surprised and upset. She blinked and didn't even smile, "Married? Norman you are too young!" She looked him over like he was a piece of meat and then grabbed his stomach, which didn't have an ounce of fat, he probably didn't have an ounce of fat anywhere on his body. "What have you been doing Norman? You're hard as a rock."

This was beautiful. I covered my mouth so I wouldn't laugh and watched him hop backwards, attempting to get out of her reach.

"Yeah, I know, but I'm married, very married, see my ring…" he scooted past her and hid behind me. His hands covered my shoulders and pulled me back into him, while she turned her attention on us. He grabbed my hand and showed her my ring, "See, see ain't it pretty?"

She did step closer. She took my hand and examined the ring, as if she were a certified gemologist. She then gave me a scathing look and I smiled broadly, reaching down and patting his thigh for added effect, and because I could.

"You still teachin?"

She smiled broadly at Hoot, "Yes I am, my boys are great."

Her boys?

I glanced up at Hoot, who informed me, "Mrs. McGee teaches boys basketball, football an baseball at the high school. She's a coach an assistant coach." My expression was one of disbelief and Hoot nodded, "I swear."

"Norman is right," she breathed, I caught her eyeing him. "Norman was one of my favorite young baseball players. He's filled out nicely. Very nicely." She let out a breath and I was pretty sure she was hot and bothered. She held a hand to her neck and smiled, "You stayin here long?"

"A few days," he chirped, firmly holding onto me. Like his virtue depended on it.

"Well I see you round Norman." And off she walked, making sure her ass swayed as she did so. When she rounded into the soda aisle I looked up at Hoot. "I think she's in love with you."

He gave me a look and hissed, "That woman groped me every damn day a high school. She's crazy."

"You tell your momma," I teased.

"No," he spat. But his eyes were looking over my head, watching out for her. Like she was some sort of terrorist, or my father.


	5. Chapter 5

_Authors Note: Sorry for the lack of updates! Finals are over and I am newly inspired! Woohoo! I kinda really messed up the timeline of events with my previous Hoot fics and the movie, but I like this story so far and no one really seemed to notice, so I'm continuing on! Reviews are most welcome! I welcome your thoughts and opinions. Enjoy._

5.

That evening…

Randy walked by the bedroom as I messed around with my hair. It had to be 110 degrees in Hoot's bedroom with the fan blowing on us. It was as if air conditioning was an unspoken thing around such parts. Hoot didn't seem to mind.

I however, loved the magical make air cold box.

"Where you headed?"

Randy stopped and appeared in the doorway of the bedroom. A shrine to Hoot's adolescent years. Posters of bikini-clad women graced the walls. Spiderman sheets covered his bed. A pile of old Playboys was in the corner of his room beneath a bookshelf that housed every military and army book known to man.

"I'm gonna camp out on the roof. I figure there'll be a breeze up there…you mother does know of the air conditioner. It is legal to purchase one in this state."

Hoot flipped him off and dropped on his bed. In nothing more then a pair of jeans. "Careful, snakes drop from the trees."

With a nod Randy strolled on by, "Noted. See you in the morning."

Snakes dropping from trees?

What was this, Mayberry from Hell? I whipped my head around, "Excuse me?"  
Alligators in the front yard.

Snakes dropping from trees.

Crazy sexed up women in the food store.

No wonder Hoot was demented.

He dropped backwards on his bed. A twin bed. Which seemed too small for his impressive size. "Don worry baby, I'll protect you. You're safe in here."

I rolled my eyes.

It was way too hot clothes. I locked his bedroom door and then pulled my shirt over my head, tossing it on the floor. Already I was sweating. I then turned the fan up another notch to its highest setting.

Hoot watched me with great interest. As if he had never seen me topless before.

Out of mild curiosity I asked, "Have you ever had a girl up here before?"

He shook his head.

"What about your gym teacher," I asked, and got a pillow chucked at me. So I then asked figuring he'd either ravish me where I stood, or drag me to bed. I was in the mood so baiting him was one of the easier ways to get nookie. "So baby, you can tell me, was she your first? Gym teacher woman? I promise I won't tell."

He was up off the bed and I darted behind the osculating fan, a rather large smile on my face.

"Git in bed."

He tried so hard not to smile, but was unable to. Even when he ordered me around. Which I just loved.

"She was wasn't she! That is so romantic baby, maybe we should invite…" He reached for me and I ran over to the bed. He chased me. Hopped on the creaky bed beside me and flipped me onto my back with ease. Between the heat in the room and the humidity that came through the open window, we were both sweating. That and the Spiderman sheets made it so romantic. "My God Hoot, you're getting all hot and bothered just by mention of her name, will you even be able to perform with me? I mean seriously…she is just so much…" and then he shut me up by kissing me. Kissing me while he worked on dismantling his pants. Apparently the button and fly were bordering on rocket science.

So I helped. I had that button and zipper defeated and his pants hit the floor.

Just as the lights and fan died.

There went the mood. I shoved him aside and sat up, "What the hell! That better not be a power outage…Hoot, is that a outage?"

Apparently it was normal.

His fingers tugged at my Hanes and his lips found my neck, "Happens all the time. It'll come back."

That meant the fan wasn't working. No circulation. Oh this was not going to work. "I'm buying your mother an air conditioner tomorrow," I informed him.

The house could have been on fire for all he cared. He found his way back onto my lap. His arms were back around my waist and roaming, "Umhmm."

There was no way this would do. I was also buying a generator. How late was Sears's open? "Hoot we can't do this." I had to go shopping. How could people live like this? Sure I had lived poor when dad was a lower ranking officer, this was ridiculous.

Then he used the M word. "Can't do what…do I have to make-love to you?"

Ew, he was working hard on pissing me off. I shoved his face aside, "Don't be disgusting! What did I tell you about using those words around me?"

Hoot then climbed on me and shoved me back down into bed. "Fine then, we're do it like bunnies that just broke out of jail. How's that?"

"Gay bunnies? Cause I realize we're in the south and…I am not really in with the whole Deliverance love scene," I inquired as my panties seemingly vanished. I heard them bounce off something.

I felt him above me and wrapped my legs around his waist, hooking them down, feeling his muscular thighs with my toes.

"Straight horny bunnies," he assured me.

His hands wandered even more and found my breasts.

"Straight kinky horny bunnies," I amended and then I lost my train of thought.

**Some un-Godly hour…**

Someone was tapping me on the arm, trying to wake me up at some un-Godly hour, the sun wasn't even up yet. The tapping continued and then a knee bumped my thighs.

"Baby…baby…you up?"

It was my husband.

He of all people should have known better.

"Baby…I wanna talk."

Dear God! What the hell was wrong with him. I opened my eyes and was suddenly blinded as the lights came on. Along with the fan. Now I was up. I swore and buried my face in the broad expanse of his chest, while my poor eyes adjusted to the light.

The fan began to move and push the hot air away, woohoo!

He kissed the top of my head, "Baby, I want babies."

Ok, he had my attention.

I fell back into his lumpy mattress and looked up into his dark eyes. Ran my fingertips through his hair, parts of which had decided to stick straight up, my doing probably.

"I thought you wanted to wait until you were done with the Army."

There was a thoughtful pause.

He put his fist behind his head and propped himself up, looking down at me causally, relaxed. "I've been thinkin bout that too. An…I dunno, I think it's Jeff. He's got me thinkin."

Jeff did that to people.

My fingers continued to play with his curly hair. Though it was short, it still had wave to it. "And what has dear Jeff gotten you to think about? Do I need to go punish him or thank him?"

I wiggled my toes and shoved them under his calf. They were cold from the fan.

He seemed amused but still serious, he looked me right in the eyes and told me, "I wanna start a family. I don't wanna wait." And then he watched me closely, as if he were interrogating me.

He had certainly used the right words. He wanted to start our own little family. Our parents would be utterly thrilled. I chewed on my bottom lip and inquired, "How many babies do you want?"

"I don't care," he told me.

Well I thought it was a great idea. I ran my thumb over his lips, "Do you want girls or boys?"

Again he told me with complete seriousness, "I don't care."

The sincerity was obvious on his face. He didn't care. He just wanted to start a family.

"We should probably go ahead and start now…your mother hid my birth control pills."

With a sigh he fell forward. Burying his face between my neck and shoulder, partially covering me with himself. Before long his lips began to kiss the sensitive skin of my neck, collarbone, and lower until there was a knock on the door.

His head snapped up so fast he could have given himself whiplash.

"It's not my father this time," I declared.

He rolled his eyes at me and I stuck my tongue out at him. The look he sent me heated me to my toes.

"Hoot, munchkin. Is Diana wake?"

Momma G, so I told him, "She wants to make sure we were doing it the right way."

His look at me darkened which made me grin from ear to ear. "Yeah Momma, what's wrong?"

Mere talk of babies caught her ear. She was good. Ears like a hawk.

"Duane got hurt. Could you two go down? Him momma don't wanna take him to the ER, cause'a his Parole Officer an stuff. Could baby-girl maybe go peek a' him?"


	6. Chapter 6

6

Randy hung over the back of the seat in the truck not at all impressed with the shack that Hoot's cousin Duane lived in. It was a old brick house that had plastic toys scattered across the front lawn, a kiddie pool with no water, a tireless car on blocks, and a knight in armor mailbox holder.

Granted it was a very late hour, maybe Duane's wife didn't get a chance to clean up.

I looked over at Hoot as he parked in the street. He then looked to Randy, "Duane's a dumbass. Whatever he says don't think much of."

One of Randy's eyebrows rose.

Great, Duane was a dumbass, I loved dumbasses. "What does Duane have a Parole Officer for? What'd he do?" I pushed open the truck door and dropped out, Randy right behind me.

It was still hot and humid.

It didn't seem to bother Hoot at all. To be so lucky. I hauled it around Griz's truck and took Hoot's hand.

"A number a stupid things since birth. Latest one was a robbery of the seven'leven."

Perfect, a screw-up dumbass.

Randy followed us across the lawn and onto the front porch that had a couch. Hmmmm…

While Hoot knocked I inquired, "How closely related is this so-called cousin?"

Randy's voice inquired, "You smell that?"

Smell what? Naturally I began to pay attention and Hoot casually said, "He's a pothead. Probably got a plant round here somewhere."

Randy made a noise.

He then said, "I'm going to go walk around. Beep me if you leave before I come back."

He was what? I watched him stroll off the porch and walk around the side of the old house, which was in a state of disrepair from up close.

The door opened and a woman my age was there. A cigarette in her mouth and a moomoo on her, she was in serious need of a root touch-up. She looked Hoot over, then me, "Momma G send y'all over?"

She was also very pregnant.

The urge to slap her came over me.

"Yeah, Diana's a nurse. Momma said Duane got hurt or somethin?"

Mother-of-the-year let us in and pointed to the kitchen. "He's in there. I told'im to git off my couch, he was bleedin all over the place."

Bleeding all over?

I strolled on in, glad I had my purse with me which always had rubber gloves and a mouthpiece for performing CPR, along with Tylenol and my Epi-Pen incase someone slipped me a peanut.

Hoot followed me and nearly yelled when we spotted his cousin at the kitchen table. The gangly man held a bloody towel to his arm. There was blood all over the floor, along with two blood soaked towels. On the small table was a ski mask and what was obviously a rubber gun.

I just stared.

"He got shot," Hoot spat.

Mother-of-the-year blew a cloud of smoke out, "No shit. Can your little wifey fix him?"

I whipped my head around and saw her looking at me with narrowed eyes. She was staring me down! I could so kick her ass, I had no problem hitting a pregnant woman. "Why don't you fix him," I snarled.

After another hit from her cigarette.

Apparently her brain needed nicotine to function. "I ain't a nurse. Sides Momma G's always-sayin Hoot got him a smart gal. A specially trained nurse. Guess none'a us girls were ever good enuff for him."

Was she jealous? Jealous while Duane bled all over.

What could I say? I was that good.

Hoot gave me a nudge.

Fine! I'd look at his stupid cousin. I stomped over and told Duane, "Were you only shot once?"

He nodded.

So I took my gloves from my purse. There was a lot of blood and Duane had a lot of jail ink. Hep C, not for me. I then lifted his arm up and saw an entrance and exit wound. The bullet had gone in his arm right above the elbow and out the other side.

"Get me something to clean this with."

Mother-of-the-year told Hoot, "I got some Windex under the sink."

Duane spat, "You don't clean gunshot wounds with Windex bitch!"

Mother-of-the-year then spat back, "Who died and made you a doctor, Duane! You should'a run faster an Mrs. Thang wouldn't be up here helpin you!"

"Peroxide," Hoot told her, "And a clean towel."

She puffed on her tobacco stick and narrowed her eyes, unable to connect the dots. "Yeah, so."

Duane screamed, "_Get Them! Hoot's Woman Needs'em!_"

Great. We were going to cause a domestic disturbance. Mother-of-the-year stomped off and Hoot came over, arms crossed, eyeing the wound, ".22?"

"Probably," I nodded, "Bullet's gone."

He nodded and his cousin spat. "Like you ain't never been shot."

"Never in the commission of a crime," Hoot smiled.

The blatant disregard of respect. It was disgusting, my father would not have been impressed.

I poked the bullet wound and Duane screeched at me. He yanked his arm away and reached up, as if he were going to smack me. Which would have hurt him more then me since he had that pesky bullet wound.

Hoot grabbed his bloody wrist and gave it a good squeeze. The squeeze rendered his cousin speechless, pain was obvious on his face, and he gasped.

That'll teach the ingrate.

"What'd your daddy teach you bout touchin a woman," Hoot spat even less pleased with his cousin.

I wasn't pleased with his cousin and I didn't even know the guy.

When I looked at the look of utter distaste on Duane's face I could only imagine what his father told him about touching women. But the grip that Hoot had on his cousin, and it was not a gentle grip, he was physically a lot more powerful then his cousin: Duane wasn't arguing.

Hoot let go as Mother-of-the-year returned. Swearing like a sailor and smoking a new ciggy. Wasn't she just precious. She slammed down the towel on the table and belted Duane with the brown plastic bottle. Knocking dear Duane from the chair.

He couldn't have weighed 110 soaking wet.

Which made him bleed on the floor and all over my shoes! I looked to Hoot who was not pleased at all. Nope He pulled the lit cigarette from her mouth and snarled at her in a voice that even impressed me, and I was not easily impressed, "_Get in the living room._"

She stood straight. Obviously insulted, but she was afraid of him. Possibly his size? Hoot was a good-sized man. She stomped off and Duane rose to defend her honor.

Hoot put both his hands on Duane's shoulders and physically shoved him back down into the chair. I picked up the brown bottle and opened it.

Duane gave Hoot a dirty look and Hoot hit him beneath the belt, "What? Come on, hit me. You wanna. I can see it in you're eyes. You want a piece'a me Duane? Or you just wanna hit a woman, someone smaller then you."

I put Duane's arm on the table and poured some peroxide on it. It was all I had and I knew he wasn't going to the hospital. Though Windex was a good idea.

"I ain't skeered a you…just cause you in the Army don't mean you could kick my ass. You ain't even a Ranger no more."

Between the two of them! They were like two eight year old boys! Hoot wanted to kick Duane's ass and Duane thought he could kick Hoot's ass.

Then, in an act of ultimate maturity Duane looked at me, then Hoot, and called him every profane name he could think of. Hoot stood there and stared, unimpressed. Hoot was a much better person then me. When Duane began to combine profanities I pinched him. He screeched and called me a name I had been called many times.

Hoot hit him in the mouth so hard Duane's head snapped back. Blood seeped from Duane's mouth and I glared at Hoot, "Oh come on! I'm not a dentist. I can't fix that."

With a shrug Hoot replied, "He can go to the ER."


	7. Chapter 7

7.

Hoot walked into the kitchen with no more then a towel around his chiseled waist and belted Randy upside the head. "You're in my chair."

I ignored them.

I needed coffee.

I poured a cup of coffee as Randy spat, "I don't see your name on it princess."

I needed a big cup of coffee. Momma G handed me a plate full of eggs, sausage, bacon, toast, ham, and hash browns. She was trying to fatten me up, I swear to God she was. She then kissed my cheek, "Go have'a seat baby-doll. Eat, you too skinny."

"It's my chair! Diana sits there an I sit there, outta my chair."

Randy chewed on his bacon, "Maybe Diana wants to sit next to me. Besides I got here first."

It was too early in the morning to deal with them. So I took my rightful seat beside Randy and he stole my bacon. Which greatly offended my husband.

"Momma! Randy won't let me sit next'a my wife."

She turned around in her Dairy Queen work uniform. An apron covered the front of her and she pointed the spatula at both grown men. "Don make me separate y'all. Hoot, sit down cross from baby-doll an Randy, you quit teasen Hoot."

When she turned back around to tend to the bacon Randy stuck his tongue out at Hoot, who then flipped Randy off. Who stole a sausage link from my plate. Hoot reached over the table and grabbed a slice of ham.

Both men had plates stacked of food, second helpings too.

"What are y'all doin t'day?"

Randy and Hoot looked at one another, knowing I needed caffeine they left me out of their discussion.

"Randy was hopen to hunt'a gator. An I was thinkin a takin Diana out to the range."

Range? Woohoo! I loved guns.

Randy perked up, "I'll tag along at the range."

"What range," Momma G inquired.

Hoot reached dangerously close to my coffee, but grabbed the saltshaker. "Saul's. He tol me to drop by when I was older." Hoot then looked to Randy, "One'a the founden members. Beckworth picked'im himself. He's got a sweet killin house and mockup town."

Randy perked up. "Can we bring our toys?"

Hoot's grin was the response.

Then Momma G turned and pointed her spatula at Hoot, "You better stay way from them Bridley boys. I don't want you an Randy gettin in any trouble. They cops now."

One of my eyebrows rose as the caffeine sank into my brain.

Hoot whipped his head around, "Momma, I'm a grown man. What'd I go round lookin for them for?"

"Cause you my son." She then looked to me, "Baby-doll, make sure my lil baby Hoot b'haves himself, an Randy-kins too."

Randy-kins?

I nodded, "Of course. And if you all will excuse me, I'm going to get dressed."

Hoot looked back to me.

As I grabbed my coffee and headed for the hall he added, "Wear somethin that can get dirty baby."

Of course I would. I blew him a kiss. We could never go shopping like a normal couple. No, we went shooting. As Momma G inquired when Hoot was giving her grandchildren I hauled ass to the bedroom.

Where I closed the door and set my mug down.

Having showered I went to my suitcase and dug through it. We were going shooting. Cause that was what married people did. I dug around and felt something hard.

It wasn't my belt.

Hoot must have added something else.

I dug around and pulled out thermal goggles. What the hell? I picked off my white lacy padded bra that they were wrapped in and tossed it on the bed, then set the goggles on the floor.

He'd been in the Special Forces way too long.

After that realization and discovery, I dug out some battered jeans and a basic olive baby doll tee. Perfect for a fun filled day of shooting things.

The bedroom door opened and I turned. It could have been Randy or Hoot, Randy didn't know how to knock.

It was neither.

Some teenage boy that weighed maybe ninety pounds peeked in, at the sight of me a red blush spread across his pale face. "Sorry ma'am. I was lookin for Uncle Hoot."

Where the hell had Mr. Puberty come from?

"He's in the dining room with Randy and Momma G."

"Oh…um, ma'am, who are you? Why are you in his room?"

I whipped around and narrowed my eyes at him. The kid flinched. At all of 15 I was not surprised. "_I'm his wife_."

At that the kid quickly excused himself and off he went.

**minutes later…**

After I got dressed and braided my hair I went to find my husband and eat something, have some more coffee. When I got back to the table the kid was in my seat.

So I parked it next to Hoot who was getting more food from his mother. Both he and Randy had eaten all the food from my plate. They ate everything. Which in order to stay their size and in shape they usually consumed more then 2500 calories daily when they were home.

The both of them had already worked out for the day, all before I had woken too.

"So you're a cook," Mr. Puberty said pointing to Randy, who nodded while finishing up his eggs like a starving man. He then pointed to Hoot, "An you program computers?"

Hoot nodded, "Big un's. Gabe, this is my wife Diana. Diana baby, this is my lil cousin Gabe. He's goin into the Army when he graduates."

Oh goody.

I smiled at Gabe who looked at me as if I were Satan himself. I then picked a piece of bacon off Hoot's plate. Hoot kissed my ear and was scolded by Randy, "Not at the dinner table!"

"You just jealous," Hoot grinned and kissed my ear again.

Randy pointed his fork threateningly at Hoot. While he inquired, "What do you want to do in the Army, Gabe?"

Momma G answered the question for him, "Gaby wants to fly them choppers for them Night Stalkin peoples."

Night Stalkers.

That was a pretty high goal to achieve.

Momma G added, "He need's to get his grades better to git into college, so he gets the degree to git into flight skool."

Hoot and Randy both looked to Gabe. I stole more bacon. "You gettin bad grades," Hoot demanded.

"An he's gittin in trouble," Momma G spat, "Which's why he's stayin here. His Momma cain't control him…I can though, ain't that right Gaby." Momma G glared and he nodded, "Yes ma'am."

The woman had obviously knocked some sense into him.

"What kind of trouble," I inquired.

His dark eyes looked down at his bacon, "Nothin, ma'am."

"Don't you nuthin me! You goin to court for it ain't you?"

Really?

Hoot was eyeing Gabe who wouldn't look up, Randy inquired, "Felony or misdemeanor charges?"

"Misdemeanor. He's doin community service for it an helpin at church now. I'm fixin him good."

I had no doubt.

Randy and Hoot shared a look. I had a feeling we were getting a fourth person to shoot with.


	8. Chapter 8

8.

"What do you do?"  
I looked over my shoulder as Hoot and Randy stood arguing over what beer to buy Saul. I could see then from where I sat in the front passenger seat of Griz's truck, Gabe was in the back seat, and we were parked.

"I'm a nurse."

"In the army," he asked.

"Nope," I replied, my feet were on the dashboard and I was chillaxing.

He was quiet for a few minutes.

I felt him hang over the seat where I had my head resting. I guess he realized he wasn't getting much more out of me. He then asked, "Is Randy really a cook? He looks huge. Hoot too."

"Yes he's a cook," and sometimes he even cooked.

There was silence again.

Randy and Hoot were still debating.

When something moved the truck I was mildly surprised. It was a massive truck. I peeked in the mirror I saw someone stroll behind the truck.

We had a big box of guns back there. Sure the box was locked. But the person was bent over.

Maybe the person was stealing the hitch Griz had on it. I opened the door and told Gabe, "Stay here."

I dropped out of the truck and left the door open.

No sounds of someone running, so I strolled around and saw an overweight man kneeling down behind the truck. What the hell? "Can I help you?"

To say there was venom in my words was putting it lightly.

I caught something move from the corner of my eye. By the time I turned something hit me in the back of the head and sent me into the truck bed door. There were stars and bright lights. It took everything I had not to hit the ground. I stumbled and felt someone turning me around, looking me in the face really close.

Too bad I couldn't focus.

I saw a green hat.

My legs weren't exactly functioning.

The distinct smell of dip came, "You Mrs. Gibson? Gabe's aunt?" I wasn't admitting to anything. I was about to tell the man he could kiss my ass, which probably would not have helped the situation. A thick beefy hand wrapped around my throat, "You hear me?"

Another voice from beside me told the one holding me, "She cain't talk wit you holdin her like that."

The stars began to fade and I saw dark sunglasses, a green John Deer hat.

The grip loosened and I wasn't about to be helpful. I was about to tell him I was Diana McKnight when I heard Randy, "What in the hell are you doing to her!"

Well then, Hoot wasn't far.

I brought my knee up into the man's crotch as hard as I could manage, which wasn't hard since my head was still spinning. But it was hard enough cause he let go of me and my butt hit the concrete.

Randy chased the man who had been behind the truck across the parking lot. While Hoot appeared infront of me.

I heard him and the man go at it. But I had bigger problems to worry about. Like keeping my breakfast down. I rolled onto my side and tried very hard not to vomit. Vomiting was a sign of a concussion and not good.

While I kissed the concrete I heard the man Randy chased begin to scream. I guess he had been caught.

I took deep breaths that helped clear my head. Something hit the side of Griz's truck and then the concrete.

Hoot's hands gently touched my back.

Ah, I knew who was on the ground then. I took a gasping breath and told him, 'They…were looking…for…your mom…Gabe's aunt."

His hands rubbed my back. His voice soothed against my ear, "Ok. It's ok baby, he ain't goin anywhere. Do I need to call an ambulance?"

Did I need one?

I opened my eyes and was not seeing double. I then pushed myself onto my knees and looked to my husband. His hand found the knot on the back of my head. "What'd…he hit me…with?"

"A piece'a wood. I broke it over his damn head. Baby, look me in the eye."

I listened and found if I looked him in the eyes I couldn't balance. Had his hand not held me I would have fallen over. I grabbed his thigh and clung to him to balance. "They were after…Gabe."

Hoot placed my hands on his leg, he stood and put the tailgate down, and then he picked me up with ease and set me down. He shouted for Gabe as I watched Randy drag the other man back.

I laid down on the bed and stared at the sky.

"Gabe!"

Boy it was a blue sky.

Hoot began to swear and I asked, "He took off?"

"Yeah."

Perfect. I covered my face and groaned. Then I heard something zip. Curious, I propped myself up and saw Hoot zip tying the man's hands and ankles.

Randy arrived and dropped the man beside the truck. Hoot handed him the plastic tub of zip ties, "I'm gonna go get Gabe. Keep an eye on Diana, she's got a concussion."

He nodded and began to zip tie tubby, who was also out like a light. I managed to glance around the gas station. There were two cars filling up and one-parked three spots away, they were ignoring us. As if they didn't care or want to get involved. I was voting on the latter.

"If you're not back in a few minutes?"

Hoot paused, "Give me ten. Then load'em up an take'em home. Momma's got a shed. Make sure Diana's ok though."

"Isn't that kidnapping," I asked Randy.

"Not when I'm done with them," he told me. When he was done he stood up and hopped on the bed of the truck, right beside me. He looked in my eyes and inquired, "How bad is it?"

Being a nurse I knew just how bad it was. "I'm nauseous and I can't balance worth a damn."

Can you stand up?

I pondered his question and heard sirens. Police sirens. He swore under his breath and I propped myself up. A police cruiser pulled up beside us and parked. Randy pulled his t-shirt over his head that had a crude reference to the police and inbreeding, he then folded it and placed it under my head.

"Thanks," I told him pretty sincerely.

Randy patted my thigh and hopped off the bed, immediately telling the officer, "This man attacked my friend."

The cop looked from Randy to the two plus sized men on the ground. Randy was half their size but all muscle. It was absurd. I sat up and told the cop, "He hit me with that board." Between the sun and my throbbing head, the dizziness did not ease. Randy noticed. He put a hand on my shoulder as the cop spoke into his radio, "10-4 dispatch, this is officer Bridley, I'm at the BP, I'm gonna need some backup."

Bridley?

Wasn't that just our luck?

Said Officer Bridley looked at the tag on Griz's truck. He then asked, "I'll need your names."

Oh perfect.

"Randy Shughart and this is Diana McKnight."

The officer was looking around us, "Witnesses said there were two other people."

Randy spoke up and I let him, "Yes, my friend Norm, he went after his cousin who ran off when Diana was attacked."

Instead of asking who, Officer Bridley asked, "Do you need an ambulance ma'am?"


	9. Chapter 9

9.

Around noon...

We were back in the sauna that was the trailers, not that they weren't grand and all, but Momma G was so getting and air conditioner. Randy walked around and turned the fans on while I took something for my headache, and laid on the couch.

"I wonder what he's mixed up in," I thought out loud.

Randy's voice came from somewhere in the living room, "Ask Hoot. He's back."

Hoot was back?

I sat up on the battered lumpy couch as the front door opened. I thought about asking how Randy knew and then I decided I didn't want to know. Really I didn't.

The front door opened and in came my husband. Alone, Displeased. He slammed the front door and I inquired, "Where's the little one?"

Hoot grimaced.

Randy inquired, "So...what is the plan for today."

I knew what he was asking and so did Hoot.

Hoot came over and dropped down beside me. His fingers ran over my scalp, "Gabe's a big boy. He wants to handle his mess, it's not our problem."

Hoot was so unhappy he could have eaten glass.

I pushed myself into the sitting position and touched his face. Hoot looked in my eyes and sighed, "He's a coward. He ran off."

There was actual pain in his eyes. I ran my fingers through his short hair. Then he asked, "Was there a problem with the police?"

I looked to Randy who lied, "Not one."

We weren't moving here so it wasn't our problem. I then asked, "Is there a Sears around here?"

Hoot glanced at Randy, so I peeked over at him, Randy lowered his hands and crossed his arms. When I looked back to my husband his hands were quickly shoved back and through his hair.

They were signing to one another again. They did it whenever they didn't want me to overhear anything, or when they were in public and a good distance apart.

"So is that a no?"

Hoot gave me a smile, he tried so hard to be normal around me. He tried to leave the Army stuff at the door when he came home to me. I had never asked him to, he just took it upon himself to do it and sometimes he slipped up. On such occasions as now.

"Since we're not doing the shooting today...I'll be out hunting. If you need me, page me." And at that Randy headed out to where he had slept to get his hunting gear and go find himself a gator I suppose. I waited until he was out of sight, out of ear range was another story entirely. "Hoot if you want to go after your cousin go right ahead, I'll be fine, I brought books to read."

A look passed over his face. I could see he was contemplating it. Then he shook his head, he kissed my forehead and then the bridge of my nose. "No baby. This here, this now, this is my life. I ain't about to go an ruin my career cause'a Gabe. I ain't about to go lookin for trouble on my time off." Then more to himself then me he added, "This just ain't my life anymore. I left it a long time'ago." He seemed bothered but he hid it from himself for my benefit, the way men did.

I reached up and ran my fingers through his hair again. I stroked his face and wanted to ask him whether he could just let his cousin find his own way out of his self made mess.

Maybe he needed a distraction. "Do you want to go buy your mother a air conditioning unit?"

**Sears...**

I had lost him.

I had been looking over the different air conditioning units when I turned and Hoot was gone. He had vanished. Loosing Hoot in a store was never good. He usually faked interest until he saw power tools.

Therefore I sighed and stomped over to the power tools.

No Hoot.

I then marched over to the car parts.

No Hoot.

I then headed towards the women's lingerie area and could not find him, which meant my husband had been kidnapped. I ran my fingers gently through my hair and wondered if I dare get him paged. So I looked for someone in a blue smock when I heard his distinctive twang mere feet away from the women's area.

With a adjustment of my D&G purse I headed towards his voice.

Towards the baby aisle's.

Which stopped me dead in my tracks, he wanted a baby. He wanted a family. I wanted one too but, it was that next step. Was I ready to completely give myself to him in that way? Was he it for me?

As I peeked into the aisle he was and heard him grilling some 17 year old boy about the safety features of a wooden rib verses a plastic crib, my heart melted.

"Now is this'un easily taken apart? I want one that'll come apart easy cause we travel 'lot."

The teenager, whose biggest problem was probably finding a date for prom sorta hesitated. He itched his head and asked, "Do you want me to get my manager? She's had eight kids, she should know."

"Yeah an while you're a askin, see if you can get me the crib in other colors."

Poor kid.

I stepped over to them and ran my fingers along Hoot's back. I felt the relaxed muscles in his back and rubbed the top of his jeans. "Causing trouble?"

"You know it," he grinned and then asked, "I think we'll be need'in a crib to put or baby in."

Indeed that was a good idea.

But I shook my head, "Babies are small. I have a shoe box that will fit under the bed. That way we'll hear it when it cries."

Hoot nodded in agreement and our teenage salesman stared at me as if I had lost my mind. Which was a very real possibility. He then in all seriousness asked me, "You like this one? It'll fit real nice in our bedroom."

Oh my God he was nesting. A smile curled over my face but I shook my head, "I want a wooden crib in lite-wood, nothing heavy. No dark colors."

Hoot looked down at the cribs. He pursed his lips, "I wanna have one that has the attachment to hang the dangly thing."

"The mobile," I offered, looped my pinky through one of his belt loops.

"A sky one. With clouds an a sun an a moon an some stars. A pretty one, not one'a them stupid cutesy ones."

Teenage sales-boy forgotten.

I then told Hoot, "When I get pregnant we can pick out furniture. It may take awhile to conceive, baby. I've been on the pill for years."

A look close to disappointment came across his face. "How long you think?"

I shrugged, "A month or so. I'm not Humera and I doubt you have Jeff's super-sperm. No telling, every couple is different baby."

Something close to an accepted challenge flared in his eye. After all I had married one of the most manly men I had ever come across. Which was all I needed, Hoot and Jeff in some sort of competition to see who had the most kids.


	10. Chapter 10

10.

The bedroom door to Hoot's bedroom opened as if a hurricane force wind had hit it. None other then Momma G peered in at both Hoot and I, who could have been in the throes of passion and she would not have cared.

"Norma Jean said she saw you'in's lookin at baby furniture at the Sears."

From on the bed in my gator hunting clothes I looked at Hoot. Who was in the process of getting all our gear together for my first gator hunting experience. Which was bound to go better then the gigging. He put the thermal goggles in the pack, "Momma, Norma Jean is a drunk. Why do you even listen to the woman?"

Her dark eyes narrowed, "You ain't denying it."

Hoot looked to me and I gave him my _throw her a bone_ look.

Hoot then looked back to his mother, "A'ight, but I don't want you gettin all excited. We decided we gonna start a family..." His words were drown out when she began to scream, jump, and holler. She came in the room and hugged him tightly, as if he were made a steel. Then she hugged me and sang, "I'm gonna be a gran'ma! I'm gonne be a gran'ma!" She then glared at Hoot, "If you would'a stayed home an become'a cop like yo brotha you'd have given me grand'babies!"

Hoot rolled his eyes.

So much larger then his mother who was so dear to his heart. "Momma if I would'a stayed here I'd been bored to death an put in jail for some sorta act a stupidity."

She belted him and then kissed him. She then kissed my cheek and left, we heard her on the phone.

Hoot muttered under his breath and grabbed a really large knife. I hugged my knees and inquired, "So...who would you have married if you never left and joined the Army?"

He made a face.

"No dear Hoot, I want to know. As the wife and future mother of your child, I want to know. Especially if she's still here and in competition for your attentions." Which would never happen and I knew it, but baiting Hoot was just so much fun.

Finished with his task he crawled onto the bed beside me and kissed my neck, "Don't worry baby, she's married an has dozens a kids. Momma said she works at the bank...it would'a never worked out anyways."

"Oh?"

His lips traveled lower, "Umhmm, she never wanted me to join the Army an I had to git the hell outta here. I was bored to death."

I pulled back and looked in his eyes, "I make you happy?"

He kissed my lips and answered my question, and then he did so verbally when he finished kissing me, "Absolutely."

**Midnight...**

Randy hit our boat with a paddle and didn't even apologize for waking us up. He shone a Mag Light over the side of our boat and at us, "Is there ever a time you two are not having sex? Just out of mild curiosity?"

I winced at the bright light. It was much too bright.

"We ain't havin sex right now. Git that light outta my face."

Randy lowered it down on the thermal blanket that covered us, and the thermos Momma G had packed for us full of cider. She had also packed a flask which I was pretty sure had moonshine in it.

"You have more cider in there?"

Leave it to Randy to drink all the cider in his thermos. I sipped the little plastic lid cup Hoot and I had been sharing, "You drank all that cider?"

Hoot handed him the half full thermos while he procured his from the floor of his tin row boat. "Leave enough for Diana, I don't want her gettin cold."

In the dark Randy snorted.

Sure there was a big old moon in the sky, but the many trees blocked it's light. It could very well have been romantic. It had been, until Randy rowed on over. "You have moonshine in your flask."

I watched the vague outline of Randy as he poured cider. Then I snuggled closer to Hoot, not that the rickety boat was not comfortable, I had a ass pad.

"She ain't drinkin no more, causes birth defects dummy."

Both of the thermoses fell on the floor of his boat.

Randy dug around for them, he got them both righted and then shone the flashlight at me, at the area my lower abdomen was beneath said blanket. His voice was close to shrill, "You're pregnant?"

"Not yet," I told him.

Randy shone the light toward Hoot, "I want to be the Godfather."

"Gordon already called that."

A cry of outrage came from Randy, "Gordon knew first!"

Yeah, Gordon knew first? This was news to me. Had Hoot been plotting my conception in advance?

"No. He called it in advance a while back, we was out doin somethin."

Randy swore under his breath.

I heard his digging around his boat. I peered over the edge of our boat as we floated in the still swampy waters. Hoot sighed, "Randy, leave'im alone. Call'im an bitch tomorrow, he's either sleepin or entertainin his wife."

Randy procured a satellite phone from his pack.

This got my husband's attention, he propped himself up on the cooler that he had been leaning on. "Where'd you steal that from? They keep them under lock an key."

I swore I heard him smile, "I know the girl who has the key. We're good friends."

Oh I bet they were.

Hoot's hand ran over my stomach while he inquired, "What else she got a key for?"

"Don't get off the subject Gibson. I want to be Godfather to your next child."

Hoot hesitated and his pinky dug underneath the top of my jeans, which were safely buttoned and zipped. My shirt was not so fortunate. It was in the swamp. I was pretty sure he was sitting on my bra, which was why the blanket was pulled up to my chin.

"Sanderson already called dibs, but you can be Godfather to my third child."

I felt the need to speak up.

"Just how many children do you think we're having, Mr. Gibson?"

There was a pause.

Randy even paused, wanting to see how this went.

Hoot looked to me, even in the dark I could tell he was thinking. Thinking of an appropriate answer. One that seemed to escape him. He then looked to Randy, "Would you mind jus given us some alone time."

With a sigh of utter annoyance and impatience Randy grabbed the paddles, put the phone to his ear and off he paddled.

**Dawnish...**

Again someone kicked our boat.

I curled up onto my side and inched against Hoot, buried my face further into his shoulder and tried to get back to sleep. I had been so comfortable and warm, all curled up.

There was another kick to the boat and a throat clear.

Randy was getting really annoying.

I could feel Hoot groan and move. He then jumped and threw the blanket over me. Which vaguely registered. We had been very busy working on the conception of baby #1.

"Mornin Officer," Hoot spoke.

Ok, I was up.

"Good morning sir, you and your lady friend wouldn't happen to have some id on either of you?"

Then came Hoot's voice, "One second officer. Lemme jus look for my pants."

Oh perfect.

We were pretty nude. And I was on his pants. I dug around for the pocket, found it and the wallet. I tapped his back and put the wallet in his lap as the officer inquired, "You hunting?"

Hoot moved around beside me. "We was thinkin about it an then we got out here an, well, we're tryin to have a baby, so we was doin that all night."

Oh dear God, "Hoot!"

Then came the officer's voice, "That's wonderful Mr. Gibson...Norm Gibson?"

"Maybe."

"No shit, my brother went to school with you. Says you were crazy."

Perfect, a social reunion and I couldn't find my clothes. So I peeked out of the blanket and saw two cops. A young one right out of the academy stood on the bank of the small shore we had ended up on, where had we drifted? He waved to me, "Do you have any id ma'am?"

I shook my head, "I thought we were going hunting."


	11. Chapter 11

11.

Randy and Momma G were at the dining room table admiring the massive American Alligator Randy had hunted and brought back. The thing was huge. It's tail went off the table and touched the floor.

There were no gunshots in it. Only a single knife wound in it's head.

He looked up at me and smiled, pointing at the gator, "Look what I got! Momma G is going to make me a belt, boots, and smoke the tail for me."

Wasn't that precious.

Hoot appeared behind me a whistled.

Momma G narrowed her eyes at the both of us, "Why you'in's late? You missed breakfast."

Shirtless, Hoot rubbed his neck, "Our boat washed ashore an someone called the cops on us."

Momma G's eyes narrowed, "Cops?"

One of Randy's eyebrow's rose, "Prove it."

Hoot pulled the citation from his jean's pocket, which made Randy laugh. Our citation for indecent exposure. He then walked over to the gator and looked over it with a expert eye. He seemed to be impressed with Randy's first hunt.

Knife in hand Momma G came on over and snatched the ticket away. She looked it over and belted Hoot, who was easily twice her size. She then steered me from the dead animal, "Come on baby-girl, we gonna get you fed. I want any future grand-babies well fed."

**Later that day...**

For a while I read and then I watched Hoot show Randy how to bleed, clean, skin, and harvest meat from the alligator. When that got boring I turned the TV on to CNN to find out what was going on in the world. Sadly, Momma G did not have cable. She had four TV channels. On one was lunch-time news which covered massive strikes in New Orleans.

Work related strikes.

But I stood and watched for a few moments, watching the angry mobs get more and more violent, especially with the obsessive news clips showing the strike earlier in the day.

Special riot police had been called in.

I felt a itch to go. On more then occasion to serve as a medic for riot police.

It was my kind of work.

But not for our friends.

I strolled out to the porch where the boys were, which was obscene to call them that. But Angela had gotten me doing it, she had grown on me. I spotted the boys and their project.

Leaning against the side of the trailer I informed them, "There are riot's going on down in New Orleans."

Both men paused in their work. They shared a look and Hoot asked, "What part?"

"News didn't say. Riot police were called in though."

Another look was exchanged.

Randy asked, "Could you go get my phone. It's in the bag by my bed."

While I wandered around the deck looking for his bed, which he had made up on the roof of the trailer, a ladder lead the way up. Which I hauled my ass up. He had a cute little niche made out for himself. Complete with sleeping bag, pillows and a pad.

I dug through his duffel bag. Finding a plethora of goodies and weaponry, along with some gadgets that had likely been stolen.

Upon finding the phone it began to ring in my hand.

Me being me, I answered it, having used the bulky type of phone more then once, "Whose this?"

Saying hello on a stolen military phone didn't seem right.

A female's voice came over the phone, "Is Randy there?"

Randy was indeed here. As I hauled it down the wooden ladder I informed her, "Yes he is, who's this?"

"Stephanie, who's this?"

"Diana." I jogged around the deck and found the boys, told Randy, "Stephanie's on the phone."

Which made Hoots eyebrows rise. Both of them. He wiped his gutsy bloody hands on a rag, "I'll call G from inside then."

This got my attention.

I was torn from snooping on Randy and this Stephanie person, or catching Hoot call Gordon and Angela.

But Hoot's fingers gently entwined in mine and he tugged me after him.

Damn, I wanted to overhear the conversation.

Once inside I demanded of my husband, "Who's this Stephanie and how long has she been interested in our little Randy?"

With a look over his shoulder at me, "Baby, don't meddle."

Oh my! I hurried and cut Hoot off from the phone needing details! "I'm not. Now give me details, and real details. Not those little pieces of information guys think are details. I have to report to Angela and Humera."

My husband had the nerve to roll his eyes at me.

He then took my face in his hands and told me, "Baby if I give you details and you run off to the rumor mill, it'll jinx Randy."

I narrowed my eyes and crossed my arms.

How could grown men be so superstitious?

He walked around me and went to the phone. Where he dialed up a number and leant casually against the wall. Phone to his ear where he could watch me. I was torn, whose phone conversation did I want to overhear? Choices choices!

"G, it's me, yeah Diana caught the tv and was wondering what you and the wife are doin?"

There was a pause and Hoot's eyes lowered to my abdomen. As if he had X-Ray vision and could see if there was any progress in our baby-making.

"Why don't you two come on over? You r'member where we are from last time?" Hoot listened and nodded, he then added, "Yeah, turn off on the second dirt road after the XXX sex-shop."


	12. Chapter 12

12.

Momma G let out a scream when she walked into the house and spotted me on the couch with Angela, whom she was a very big fan of. She dropped the library books and mail on the floor, ran across the living room and as Angela stood she wrapped her arms around Angela and lifted her off the floor.

Quite strong for someone so compact.

She hugged and kissed Angela on the cheek. "Awww...sweetie-pie! You been away so long! How come you not a momma yet? How long you been married?"

Angela's feet touched the floor, the diamonds on her toe-rings glittered and she hesitated, thinking, "Nine years almost. We got married young."

Momma G made a face.

She then exhaled loudly and threw her hands up, "When you gonna have a baby?"

She visibly paled and looked to me.

"They are still discussing it," I told my mother-in-law who then gave me a hug and looked at my abdomen the way her son had, maybe all Gibson's had X-Ray vision?

Momma G then touched my abdomen.

"No baby, Momma G. Not yet."

Angela gave me a knowing look. She then looked to my mother-in-law, "You don't mind Gary and I staying here, Hoot assured us it was ok. But if the house is full we can stay somewhere else."

A high-pitched scream came from Momma G. She looked around the living room, "Baby G is here! Where's he at?"

I pointed towards the back of the home, "Looking at guns. Gary bought a couple new ones in New Orleans. You know boys and their toys."

Momma G sighed and patted my arm, "A'ight. Babydoll, will you an Angel start dinner. I's got some sausages an fresh veggies in that there fridge. I's be back."

Dinner, not a problem.

Angela sent me a look and followed me to the fridge. "I think she wants a grand-baby."

"Just a little," I told her, ever since Momma G had met me she wanted me to have Hoot's baby.

Angela opened the fridge as I grabbed some plates and knives. In order to feed the hungry bears we'd need to cook a plethora of food.

"Diana..."

Aha! I found a cutting board too! We were so in business, "Yes?"

"We have a small problem."

I grabbed a large black cast iron skillet from the wall, "Uh-huh?"

She cleared her throat and I turned, seeing that fridge that had been stocked yesterday empty.

Well it wasn't empty. There was a head of lettuce at the bottom and on the door shelf was a box of open baking soda.

Angela looked to me. Perplexed, "How can three men go through that much food?"

God only knew.

I rubbed my neck and inquired, "Hoot and Randy only had three sandwiches for lunch and a bag of chips between the two of them. I guess it wasn't enough."

She sighed and fidgeted in her jeans, which had been my jeans, we had begun to borrow cloths from one another. Though I was apparently a slut because she always wore tank-tops beneath my shirts, and was a little smaller around the hips since my jeans were falling from her hips.

"Did you put more then one type of meat on the sandwich?"

"Three," I told her, which surprised her, "Were they up all night?"

I nodded, "They were."

Hoot had had a big night.

She sighed, then opened the door to the freezer. Maybe there was frozen veggies?

The freezer was barren too.

Nothing but ice cube trays and a frozen bean burrito. I grabbed it. Maybe we could make appetizers out of it. Nope. The wrapper was empty. Angela sighed, "Randy loves those things."

One would have thought the Russian Army had passed through.

**A little later...**

Gary threw three packages of bologna in the cart, plus a package of American Cheese, Swiss Cheese, and a package of ham. Along with two jars of dill pickles and two packages of Nathan's Hot dogs.

I just stared.

After all Hoot and Randy had vanished down the bread / chips / and candy aisle.

Angela tossed a package of lean turkey breast in and asked of her husband of many years, "Will that be enough lunch supplies to last three days?"

Gary looked over the piles of veggies, fruits, meats and the package of chocolate covered pretzels. Having only been through the produce aisle and the deli we were doing so well. He rubbed the back of his neck and itched his golden beard, a new addition. It looked quite manly. Made him look older, like someone off the Animal Planet. "I think so...did you get something?"

She tossed her package in like a frisbee.

They were too cute together.

She chewed on her bottom lip and peeked in the cart from where she pushed it, observing with a keen eye. Then she looked to me, "Did you get something?"

I nodded.

I'd grab some crumbs.

Loud voices came around the corner, Hoot and Randy arguing over the football game from earlier in the afternoon, and who had the better quarterback. Who cared?

The both of them dumped arm fulls of food in, Gordon peeked over everything, when he reached for a bag of chips to inspect them further, Angela smacked his tanned and far stronger hand.

His dark blue eyes fixated on her and she jabbed her finger at him, "No. They're bad for you. Remember what the doctor said."

"What'd his doctor say," I inquired, needing to know.

Angela then turned her attention to me, saucily almost. While her husband rolled his eyes like a fourth grader. "His doctor told us that his cholesterol was high."

Hoot snickered and Randy appeared moved, he grabbed the chips, "Then we don't need these."

Hoot and Gordon both pouted, clearly heart broken.

Off Randy went with the chips and Gordon told his wife, "Angela, sweetie, I had some high fattening food for three weeks, I was in a place that was all that they had, give it three more weeks here and it'll go down."

She put her hands on her hips and glared at him. Being a red-head really suited her, she was spunky. "What! You couldn't have asked for a salad? Like your job isn't dangerous enough already, you're playing Russian Roulette with your physical health too? Are you trying to give me a stroke?"

This was entertaining.

"Yeah," Hoot demanded, on Angela's side, a grin on his face, "You should be ashamed, _Gary._"

Gordon rolled his eyes, "Shut-up Hoot."

A few people pushed their carts by us and Angela bit her tongue. They probably had no idea who we were, or wound even guess that the boys were in the Army, so it was probably safe to continue our conversation, but...there was always a slim chance of some sort of security breach, so Angela merely glared at Gordon. Who was more then ready for the argument to blow the hell over.

Hoot waved to the elderly couple.

The man narrowed his eyes at Randy, a hat that declared him a WW2 vet on his head and his pants held up to his chest with suspenders: he looked at both Hoot and Gordon with some sort of weird look. After-all the two of them looked like regular Joes.

The college woman shopping checked out both Hoot and Gordon, while the middle aged woman refused all eye contact. We could have been dangerous people for all she knew.

By the time the coast was clear Randy returned with a bag of baked, low card, no fat, low sodium, and 100 organic chips.

Hoot made a gagging noise and Angela patted Randy's chest which was obviously sculpted, even if I hadn't seen him in a towel, due to the small clingy t-shirt he had on. "Thank you, Randy."

When she pushed the cart onward Gordon and Hoot gave Randy dirty looks and got a bird in return.


	13. Chapter 13

**13.**

It was late. I mean really late. It was dark in the house except for the TV which was all snow since the VCR had run out of tape long ago. I had fallen asleep before the movie was over, sound asleep on Hoot's stomach while he watched "_Gone with the wind_."

When out of nowhere came screams.

It sounded like someone was getting killed.

But it wasn't just the screams that woke me up. Hoot jumped and almost knocked me off the damn couch. I ended up in a heap as he ran past me and through the dark trailer house, which was a comfortable 50 degrees.

Sleepily I followed Hoot.

Mildly curious as to who was screaming and why. It wasn't Momma G or Randy, whose feet could be heard running along the roof. I heard a soft thump and then a few moments later he came in the front door.

I followed Hoot down the hall.

Gabe ran past in nothing more then boxer shorts. He bumped me as he ran into his bedroom and slammed the door. What the hell was his problem?

I ignored him and caught up to Hoot as the hall light came on. I was nearly blinded! I blinked and Angela came into the hall. A hand over her mouth and her cheeks were red, she was trying her best to calm down Gordon, who was having none of it.

She held his muscled wrist with her other.

"It is fine, Gordon, please calm down. I'm fine."

Her dainty hand looked so tiny as it grasped his wrist. Her fingertips didn't touch. Neither did mine. Our husbands were huge.

"Did he touch you? Why did you scream? I swear to God I'll snap his skinny little neck."

Randy bumped into me from behind.

This was getting good.

Angela looked to Hoot with pleading eyes, he grabbed Gordon's other arm, "G calm down for'a minute. Angel girl, what happened."

Her face turned three shades of red and her eyes lowered.

I felt Randy cross his arms behind me, "Do I need to get the little turd?"

Hoot held up a finger. Signaling for a minute more.

Gordon looked to his wife. His face alone demanded answers immediately. He had obviously been woken from his sleep. In nothing more then shorts, which did little more then cover his man parts. He must have spent every waking hour devising new workout regimes like Hoot.

"He scared me. He was in the bathroom," she spoke softly.

"You woke everyone up! He did more then scare you," Gordon hissed, he wanted blood.

Would it be rude to encourage a fight? Cheer _fight, fight, fight_!

"Angel," Hoot asked, "If he so much as looked at you crooked, I'll kick his ass here an now, I jus need a reason."

She shook her head. Her hair went all over and she whispered, "He was doing…what young men do in private."

Behind me Randy muttered, "_Oh God_," and walked off, likely back to bed.

I however needed more details.

Gordon was perplexed.

Perhaps it was the hour, or his concern, he made a face of disbelief, "What?"

Unable to meet anyone's eyes, she hissed softly, "To himself…"

A look that screamed _Ewww_ crossed Hoot's face.

A look of concern crossed Gordon's face, "Honey, I'm so sorry. Oh my God. Are you ok?" He wrapped his strong arms around her and kissed her forehead. Stroked her hair soothingly and was genuinely concerned for the horrific event she had witnessed.

Hoot patted my arm and walked past me, toward his cousin's room, where he knocked on the door first.


	14. Chapter 14

_Authors Note: Ok, woohoo, people do read this. I'll work on making this flow a little better for reading purposes. Thanks for pointing that out, I hadn't even noticed! Enjoy and review!_

**14. Later at an hour resembling morning…**

So there I was, on the twin-sized bed while I watched my husband pack a bag of combat gear. Tucked underneath a blanket because I was freezing. The sun was not yet up and I was trying to discern just where he was going.

Randy had poked his head in the room and said something.

Hoot had hopped out of bed and ran around the room, as if his pager had gone off, which woke me up. I ran my fingers through my loose hair and made a face, "Baby," I whined, "Did you get called back to base?"

He literally jumped into his black raid pants with the millions of pockets. "Randy got us signed up for a paintball competition today." Hoot then had pulled a t-shirt on and found his boots, and I sagged back down in the bed.

While he shoved all manner of gadgets for mayhem in his bag, I inquired, "Whom are you boys playing?"

I heard sounds coming from Angela and Gordon's room too.

"The volunteer fire department…maybe twenty men."

Oh it was going to be a slaughter, while I snuggled beneath the covers I whined, "What about our baby-making?"

His head whipped around and his eyes found mine in the near darkness of the room, "Baby I promise when I get back I will work on gettin you pregnant. It is my biggest goal right now. But I have to go an beat the firemen."

Perfect.

My husband was leaving our warm bed to go shoot at rednecks.

With a sigh I looked at the ceiling, "Don't you think it's an unfair match?"

There was a pause.

He continued to fish through his duffel of items that were probably stolen from his locker at work. Items that were commonly used to find people.

"After all there are three of you against them," I felt the need to add.

"Saul's comin," Hoot elaborated.

I propped myself on my elbows and narrowed my eyes, which I knew he could see, "Saul has one leg Hoot."

He actually paused.

His hands were still, "Aw baby, you worried bout me gettin hurt?"

Oh God no, "No! I'm worried about you and your fellow delinquents decimating the volunteer fire department with paintballs. What if there is a fire here and they are angry? This trailer house thing could burn to the ground!"

I made him laugh. Which was apparently one of my wifely duties. Hoot came to my bedside and kissed me thoroughly before he left, bag of gear over his shoulder, off to go paint balling.

**minutes later…**

There was a creak in the door and in came Angela, in an oversized t-shirt and mop of hair on her head. She hopped beside me in bed and pulled the blankets over her head too.

"You are not allowed to buy anymore air conditioners, ever."

From beneath the warm blankets in Hoot's spot I told her, "It was hotter then hell before."

To which she spat, "Now it's colder then shit. Quit hogging the blanket."

**A Godly hour in the morning…**

There was a knock on Hoot's bedroom door. I was up. Angela was not a sound sleeper. Plus her knees where in my back. Not that it wasn't comfortable and all, she mumbled in her sleep too. How Gordon put up with her sleeping issues was a mystery to me. So I peeked out from under the sheet, "Yeah?"

The door cracked open.

Momma G peeked in, "Diana, darlin, could you come an look at Gabe. He jus got home an is hurt."

What the hell? He just got home? I swung my feet out from the blanket and hopped out of bed. Angela quickly took over and stole my blanket. The nerve.

I grabbed Hoot's camo jacket and pulled it on.

It was cold.

Momma G held the door open as I strolled out. It was sometime after nine, a decent hour.

She handed me a mug of black coffee. When I sipped it there was a lot of sugar in it. She was a beautiful creature. "I think he's sprained his wrist."

I sipped a good amount of coffee.

Groggily followed her down the hall, "I didn't hear him leave last night."

Momma G sighed loudly.

Then she swore, "Damn kid jus climbs outta his damn window at all hours. I'been thinkin bout nailin it shut."

"Good plan," I nodded.

Momma G shoved open his bedroom door. The room was Spartan. There was not a picture, poster, or any sort of decoration, computer, nothing but a bed and dresser. Plus Gabe on the bed holding his ankle that was swollen to the size of a cantaloupe. His bottom lip was swollen. Blood trickled down from his temple and he had a black eye.

I continued to sip my coffee, "How'd this happen?"

Momma G whipped her head around and waved her finger, "Lil liar tried to tell me he fell climbin outta that there window. I gave him that there swollen lip for lien to me."

Naturally. I stepped over to his bed and sipped more coffee, "Rotate your foot."

With his teeth clenched he did.

I sipped more coffee and reached down with my good hand. I felt the swollen muscle. "I need some ice Momma G."

Off she went, clucking like a hen at Gabe.

While I continued to sip coffee I told him, "You are going to tell me how this happened. If not and I don't treat it correctly you'll not get any use of it. Did you twist it? Dislocate anything? Break it? What'd you do to it? All your muscle is swollen."

He watched me closely, "I got it caught in a chain link fence in one of the links."

That was possible.

"Did you twist it or pull it?"

"I twisted it and fell."

"Can you walk on it," I wondered aloud.

"I walked home just fine."

Smartass, I narrowed my eyes at him and mouthed off like I mouthed off to Hoot, "No shit Sherlock. I'm not asking whether you can be a big boy and walk on an injured ankle. I'm asking if the pain is at a tolerable level, or if you can't put any weight on it. Don't jerk me around, I'm in no mood."

He gave me that look. Like I was the world's biggest bitch or something.

At that moment Angela peeked her head in the door, at the sight of her he turned three shades and red and his eyes hit the floor. Angela informed me, "Diana, that was Holly on the phone. She set up a meeting for me at some specialty diamond store out in the swamp. I know you and Hoot are still on the hunt for a ring, would you want to come?"  
Of course!

I whipped my head around at her, "Yeah! Give me two minutes with dumbo here and another two to change."


	15. Chapter 15

**15.**

Dumbo sat in the back seat while Angela read me the map and I drove Griz's truck. Or, as I liked to call it, The Tank. Calmly as ever she read the instructions while I drove down a small dirt road at no less then 50 mph. My father would have been so proud!

Dumbo whined like a little girl from the back. That was when he wasn't screaming. He screamed every time his head hit the ceiling.

Angela pointed quickly, "Turn there!"

Naturally I turned right and onto a bumpier dirt road without having to slow down! Damn I was good! I could so drive for Secret Service.

A shriek came from Dumbo.

Angela curled her bare feet beneath her butt. Her toe rings glittered in the morning sun. "Do you think the boys will be ok at the paintball tournament? Should we go and check on them? Call paramedics?"

I shook my head, fixing to tell her it'd be like a fun training exercise, but then I remembered Dumbo in the back seat, who at seeing Randy pumping out one-armed pushups like they were no more then a beginners yoga pose, was not seriously questioning the lines Hoot and Randy had fed him about their work.

Sure, it didn't help that Hoot had pranced around in no more then a towel, showing off every muscle prior to Angela's arrival.

Nor did it help they consumed about 3,000 calories or more per day.

Then there were the "toys" both had brought with them. Probably stolen.

Paired with Dumbo's meet-and-greet with Gary in the kitchen, which had gone so well. The teenage boy had asked if he were going hunting too at the sight of Gary cleaning his sniper rifle on the kitchen table. Gary calmly told him, "I don't hunt animals."

Then Dumbo had asked what the rifle was used for, Gary simply told him, "Work."

So Dumbo again asked, "What do you do?"

Gary looked at the gun with much attention, ignoring the boy, "Go both someone else and stay away from my wife. I have very good aim."

With Dumbo in the back, suddenly interested, I told her, "They'll be fine."

"I meant the volunteer fire department," she sighed, bouncing in her seat.

Oh, those men, they'd be decimated like little girls playing against professional football team. But the boys needed to practice their mayhem skills somewhere.

"Slow down we're about there…there!"

I slammed the brakes on and Dumbo hit the back of my seat like a sack of potatoes. It made me smile. Angela shot me a dirty look as I turned into a hardly marked parking lot that had a canopy of Spanish moss overhead.

I parked the truck and she told me, "Business only, Holly sent me to have a meeting with the gallery owner. So be all the bitch that you can be."

No a problem.

I kicked the door open and snapped my fingers, "Come on dummy."

With it being Griz's truck there was a drop. My feet hit the gravel in front of the small brick house and I followed Angela in, Dumbo right behind me.

It seemed like a plain enough house.

However, once inside, it was like stepping into a jewelry store in Paris. There were stunning cases all around, lights brighter then the sun shining on displays, all of it original work.

While Angela went off to speak with the owners I went for the rings. I still had no ring. I had not found a ring I wanted yet.

**Three hours later…**

I had my ring.

It was an amazing ring. Close to eight carats in all. It sparkled in the sun as Angela and I watched our men get their paintball trophies, for first place too.

It was a shining moment.

"Do you notice they don't have any paint on them," Angela asked me.

We stood on the sidelines and watched the men.

They were free of paint. Every other man however…was not free of paint. They had paint on their chests, backs, necks, or heads. A few even had paint on their inner thighs.

"Yep. Awww look, Randy and Gordon had money on it."

We watched Gordon slide Randy a few dollars.

Angela sighed, she wiped her sweaty palms on her jeans and tried to flag down our boys. "You realize we only have a week before we move back to North Carolina?"

I had no idea but that sounded right.

The boys spotted us and made their way across the paint-splattered field. Hoot and Gordon jogged over leisurely while Randy and Saul casually strolled on over, taking their sweet time.

Gordon gave Angela a gentle kiss on her lips. Like the captain of a high school football team would give his sweetheart after winning a game for her. They were just the cutest couple ever.

Hoot, however, caught my hand and eyed the ring I had just bought, "Baby, where'd you git this?"

Absentmindedly I replied, "I bought it. Isn't it gorgeous?"

His rich brown eyes narrowed.

A thought ran though his head.

"What's wrong baby," I asked my husband, who wasn't even sweaty. People around us in the crowd gave him evil looks. After all, their "home team" had just been beaten, and by two Yankee's no less.

"I give you my credit card?"

No he didn't, "No. Why?"

Underneath the hot summer sun he cried out, purely outraged, "Baby! You cain't ya'own weddin ring! It ain't right! We goin back to that shop right now!"

Over my cold dead body.

I held my ring to my chest, "No. It's mine. I bought it and it's staying on."

He was not hearing any of that. He turned to Gordon, "Gimme the keys. We meet you for lunch in bout an hour."

Gordon dug through his black unmarked and unpainted vest. Upon finding the keys he tossed them to Hoot, who caught them without looking.

"You've lost your damn mind, baby," I told him as he took my hand and led the way through the crown of angry hometown southerners, in his paintball gear, which doubled as his work gear. There was even a bullet hole in the pants.

Not that I noticed or anything.

**At the jewelry store…**

The sales-lady stared at my husband in utter disbelief as he told her what he wanted to do. Though, it probably didn't help that he was all decked out and ready for combat. She probably thought he was going to rob the store.

"I cain't believe you let my wife buy her own weddin ring! I want you to take it back an off her card an then put it on mine."

She looked from him to me.

I rolled my eyes.

"Baby, we have a joint checking account," I argued.

He rolled his eyes and looked down at me, "An you put it on your card, not mine. That ain't right. No wife a mine is gonna be payin for her own weddin ring. Now give the ring to woman to clean, I ain't gonna have you wearin no tainted ring."

Oh my God he'd lost his damn mind.

I handed over the ring and shoved my hands in my pockets, where they found Griz's truck keys.

We had both sets of keys.

If only that was a problem for the boys. Then I suppose that would make my life somewhat normal. I looked up at my husband as something in my purse began to buzz.

He looked at me and gave me one of those looks that made my lower parts go hot and soft. So naturally I told him, "You are impossible."

Naturally, he gave me a kiss that was, like always, hell on my self control.


	16. Chapter 16

16.

Griz's truck was parked in a spot in the gravel parking lot of a BBQ Hut. And I do mean hut. The rest of our little group was at a table under an awning eating BBQ wings from a small metal bucket and tossing the bones into a similar bucket.

I gave Hoot a kiss on the cheek and dug through my purse, "I'll be right over. I'm going to see what the hospital wants."

He made a face.

"Baby, we're on vacation. Our honeymoon."

While I knew that, they had paged me four times in twenty minutes and left six messages on my cell phone. Trouble was afoot. I kissed him and patted his firm stomach, "I know. Give me five minutes babe."

He didn't say a word.

Instead he kissed me and headed toward the open-air hut. I sagged against the car Gordon and Angela had drove and whipped out my phone, dialed the hospital number that had been paging me.

On the second ring my co-worker picked up.

There was no, _County Hospital_, as procedure required, oh no, he asked, "Diana?"

"Yes Steven?"

His breath came out in a rushed sigh, "Oh thank God. Your father is here. He had a slight myocardial infarction. I would have called you sooner but the number he gave us to contact you was wrong, he must have been confused."

If I had not been sagging against the car I would have hit the dry gravel ground.

My father had another heart attack.

"He's recovered from the bypass surgery and is on the floor, doing good," Steven continued.

I chewed on my lip to stop it from trembling as I went cold. "Ok. I'll be there by late tonight. Early morning at the latest." I began to run my fingers through my hair and just happened to look up. I caught my husband's eye as he and Randy playfully argued over something.

Immediately I looked down.

Hoot could read me like a book. I needed to come up with some excuse so I didn't ruin his vacation by running back to Georgia to yell at and tend my father.

"He's recovering fine, Diana. I thought you'd want to know. I just wanted to let you know his cholesterol levels are still sky high. Along with his BP and well, all his labs are bad. He's not taking care of himself, this could have been avoided."

Oh and he was so finding that out when I got my hands on him. Lt. Col or not, he was my father.

He was a dead man.

"Thank you, Steven."

I snapped my phone shut and looked upwards. Right at my husband who looked at me with worried eyes, "Baby what's wrong? Is it your daddy?"


End file.
